Wednesday, April 24, 2013

General Proclamations: Border War FAQ

As of the
nineteenth day of Guli
In the Dominion-Garmarian year of
Eighteen and seventy-three
Border War
Has been declared in the
Blasted Desert
Between the most honorable forces of the
Human settlers
And the vile despotism imposed by
Trolls, Elves, Gnomes, Ratkins, Dwarves, and Goblins
On the
Twenty-fifth day of Guli
In the Dominion-Garmarian year of
Eighteen and seventy-three
Garmarian Daily Codex
has received
News, letters, advice
from men who are in
The Blasted Desert

Echos of War:In the Beginning

"Luana was the first of the gods to come to our world. She gazed upon the barren landscape of fire and rocks, and desired to do something good with this place. She melted the many crystals of the world, and first created water. Xelmar came after Luana, and decided to help. He pulled all the fire into one disk, and created the sun. Next came the twins Gascoal and Solarian, who twirled Luana's and Xelmar's creations together. The sheer variety of mindless plants and beasts so impressed the gods, that it attracted the attention of others. Yelum, Reslia, Heus, Alsae, and a hundred other lesser gods attempted to make life on the planet, but all fell short of expectations. Then, Luana created the first Elves, and convinced every other god to help her nourish this race. The gods agreed, and ever since that day, the Elves have held dominance over all other races because the gods are still making them better."
-Elven creation myth

"At first there was Ataxia, all was empty, silent, endless. But then came Light and Day, Darkness and Night, Death and Life. From these were born Gaea and Ouranos, the Earth and the Heavens. Ataxia was shunned away and the children of Gaea and Ouranos would be the Cyclops, the Hecatoncheires and the Titans. Ouranos feared his children and tried to imprison them deep into the earth, but the youngest of the Titans, Chilieties, would slay his own father. It was then that the rule of the Titans began. Then the Gods, children of the Titans, arose and usurped their parents in a battle of epic proportions, all but three of the Titans joined the fight, who were spared. The Gods prevailed and the Titans had fallen, which brought forth a new rule and the children of the Gods now roam the Earth. Just like Ouranos usurped Ataxia, Chilieties usurped Ouranos and Dias usurped Chilieties, so shall Alarxis usurp Dias, and make the Stygians the rulers of the earth and the heaven."
-The creation of the gods, as understood by Heradoth, Stygian Scholar

"In the beginning, the brother gods Delfrad and Gnelfrad and the sister god Teilfred, were born by their mother Kealfred and father Kelfrad. Immediately, Gnelfrad attacked Delfrad, but Delfrad managed to beat Gnelfrad almost to death. As punishment for trying to kill Delfrad, Kelfrad change Gnelfrad's name to Daokarlop and had him chained into the shape of a ball. Not satisfied, Delfrad took a hammer and beat Gnelfrad into the shape of a square and then dipped him into molten iron. Kealfred felt pity for Gnelfrad, and dipped her son into water to allow the metal to cool. Enraged by her disloyalty, Delfrad and Kelfrad chopped Kealfred into millions upon millions of tiny bits, which they then scattered onto Gnelfrad. After a while, Teilfred realized that each of these bits had turned into tiny creatures. Scarred that Delfrad and Kelfrad would find out, she put a pole through Daokarlop, and put him on a spit. There Teilfred was found by Delfrad, and ordered to turn the spit, so that no one part of Daokarlop would melt. To aid Teilfred, Delfrad would occasionally beat any part of Daokarlop that he saw was beginning to melt. If either Teilfred were to stop turning Daokarlop, or Delfrad to stop beating Daokarlop, then the iron would melt, and Daokarlop would kill Delfrad, Teilfred, and Kelfrad, before killing himself but plunging back into the water."
-The story of Daokarlop's binding

"All life sprang from the tree, Gno. Upon it's life baring branches are the seeds which made up all of the races of the world. For a long time, these races would just fall into the water below and, as the had no land to grow on, would simply drown. Then one day, a leaf fell from Gno and it landed in the water where it began to swirl around Gno. Soon after, a seed fell from Gno and, instead of drowning as usual, it fell on the leaf, known as Me. The people who came from the seed discovered that they had not drowned and gladly took the name of the tree and the name of the leaf, and called themselves Gno-Mes. Eventually, other sides fell from the tree, and with every seed, Me became heavier and took on more water. Should to many seeds fall on Me, then Me will no longer be able to float, and all the races on it will drown. But this matters not, for the Gno-Mes are light enough, that they will float, and will wait for another leaf to call home."
-The creation of Gnomes and Me

"In the beginning, there was only Beation. Around Beation was nothing but darkness, so he first created light. After Beation created light, he realized that is was imperfect, as light can create darkness. To remedy this, Beation created a bowl of light, and set it out on a pedestal. But, even this was not perfect, as the darkness gathered on the bowl, and formed many inferior things. To remedy this, Beation focused the light into points, and created humans to cleanse the world of darkness. This to did not work, as many of the humans began to accept, or even aid, the darkness. Sadden, Beation focused the light as hard as he could, and created the Archangels. He then turned to his humans and said 'I shall spare those of you who destroy the darkness. those who accept or aid the darkness, shall parish in the light.'"
-Beation and the Bowl of Light.

"Rite, un day, Sesom waz walkin' down tha stret when 'e don saw a real big bonfir fing goin' on. Bor'd out o' 'is skull, Sesom pick'd up some o' tha fier, mash'd it al a ball wit some mud stuf rit?, and tossed it. Much to 'is serprise, the ball start'd to travel rite 'round the fire an' noked him rite onto 'is bum into tha fier. It waz rite then that 'e realiz'd 'e was dead, so 'e decid'd to go an' bug the flyin' mud ball till it goes an' smak into some bird er somfing."
-'ow Sesom decidd that 'e wantd to mess wif uz Goblinz

"You are all wrong."
-Chaos, upon the recital of several creation myths

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Legends of War: On My Word

With a thunderous roar, Neike's caliver fired into the abomination in front of him. Instead of dying right away, the creature prodded the spot where its head was before a determined bash knocked it to the pavement.

"I hate zombies," Nieke muttered, as he felt for his ramrod.

An inhuman roar to his right convinced him to whip his gun in that direction, resulting in a small storm of blood and wood splinters. This time, the creature fell down gratifyingly fast while another man stabbed his Katzbalger into the creature causing it to spasm. Apparently,  there were some dredges in the fight too, but it was anyone's guess as to which were which. With a moments respite, Nieke took a quick look around himself, and was pleased with what he saw. That was, until he saw the zombie lunge right at him.

Before the zombie could reach Neike, a halberd came down and chopped its head off. It took a second for Neike to realize that he was not dead, and he gratifyingly looked for the halberd's owner. He was sorely disappointed. Whatever he had expected him to look like, he wasn't expecting a man in his fifties who had shaved or bathed in what seems to have been a year. His outfit was in decent shape, but it was painfully obvious as to how low quality it was; a fading red and disgusting brown.

Still, the fact that he was here meant that others weren't far behind, and sure enough, a unit a halberdiers was chopping up the zombies with gratifying speed. In no time at all, the zombies were all lying on the ground while the dredges were scattering in almost every direction.

"Nice to see those bone suckers run," a voice behind Neike commented.

"I suppose," Neike returned, while turning around. " I would have preferred they were never in Albion in the first place. I assume that you are the Halberdier commander?"

"Yes," said the unkempt savior. "I am Goeld Fermek, commander of the Hilgroto Regular Halberdier Regiment."

"I see," Neike said, while trying to keep a straight face, "it is not everyday I meet a Halberdier Regiment. I am Neike Un Saround, head of the Royal House Guard Caliver Company."

Fermek gave Neike an unconvinced look, before saying, "I've been campaigning for twenty-five years, and I've never encountered a 'caliver' before."

That's because it's a gun used by traditionally attentive Garmarian gun enthusiasts, Neike thought.

Instead, he smiled and said, "It's a very special type of gun."

"I suppose," Fermek shrugged, "but that gun looks like something a Garmarian would make."

"Possible," Neike distracted, "but I do thank you for helping us."

"About that," Fermek said, "we were told to get you Gold-Eaters off your collective backs, and move you to the field."

Neike didn't know what he was more shocked about: the fact that someone as unkept and old as this was telling him what to do, or the the insult to his unit. He decided to comment on the latter.

"Gold-Eaters?" Neike said, among snickers from Farmek's Halberdiers.

"Yeah," Fermek replied, while pointing at Neike's breastplate. "All House Guards have to wear that stupid gold thing. Too good for real armor aren't yeah?"

"How dare you!" Neike shouted, while his Calivers started to gravitate behind him. "We are members of the House Guard! We were hand picked by the Dominque himself to stand guard over Albion and all of the royal buildings of the Dominion. And you-"

"Are the ugly, dirt poor, low down grunt who does all the work," Fermek interrupted, while his Halberdiers did the same. "Us regulars do all the work and die like pigs while you fancy Gold-Eaters show up for the clean up, and take all the glory. Now, you either come with me to where you are supposed to be fighting, or we'll bring you back in wheel barrels."

"Oh really?" Neike said. "You'd go so far as insult a Royal House Guard, and then threaten to force him to do something? On who's authority are you acting anyway?"

"On the authority of Burgomaster-Albion, Benef Un Tylor," Fermek growled.

"And I've been given a mission to defend That building," Neike said, while pointing to a rather large and old building, "by the Dominique himself."

"What's so special about that building?" Fermek demended.

"It's a gunpowder store for naval ships," Neike said, "and there are no carriages available to unload any of it."

At this, the Halberdiers shifted uncomfortably away the building, and Fermek got a gratifying look of shock on his face. He didn't say anything for a short while, but neither did he freak out.

"I see," Fermek commented. "So why aren't you actually in the building?"

Neike motioned to the match on his gun.

"Fair enough," Fermek conceded, "so why aren't you taking the powder out?"

"We were," Neike said, "but those zombies attacked and tried to destroy our carts."

As if on cue, a bolt of purple lighting arched out and destroyed one of the carts. Neike and Fermek immediately turned to the direction it came from, and were not disappointed in what they saw: a horde of zombies, dredges, and skeletons was heading right through the street to their position. At the head of the horde was a man sitting down in a throne made of some sort of quartz and about five feet off the ground. The man himself was incredibly tall and frail, with tattered black robes which looked like it would rather be anywhere else then near him.

"Interesting," Neike understated. "I suggest that we argue the finer points of rank after we kill that man."

"That would be best," Fermek agreed, before yelling his men into line.

Neike had no such problem, as his men automatically formed behind the carts and readied their guns. As he reached for his gun to reload, he remembered that the but was now in some dredges face. Sighing, Neike grabbed his Courtana, and began muttering to himself.

"When I get back to the palace," Neike said, "I'm going to put in an order for one of those Garmarian revolving guns."

Another arc of lightning dance out of the throne, and slammed into a building just in front of the lines.

"Alright," Neike shouted, "When I say so, give them the powder they came for."

Some of the Halberidiers snickered at Nieke's attempted wit, and Fermek just gave him a look of disappointment. On the other hand, his Caliveers simply set their locks, primed their guns, or pointed their guns at the enemy.

"Ready!" Neike ordered, as the Halberdiers fell in at the sides of the Caliveers.

"Level!" Neike yelled, as another bolt of lightning slammed into the ground in front of him.

"On my word-"